Top 10 Gifts Men Should Never Give a Woman

20 12 2009

Because I am snowed in at my house a gift blog for the holidays seems appropriate. At first I was going to say gifts women don’t want but most women are smart enough to know what women don’t want. So here it is, the top 10 gifts men should never give a woman (this applies to mothers, wifes, girlfriends, friends, co-workers, etc.):

1) Exercise Equipment

This includes exercise balls, videos, clothes.  These gifts make a woman insecure.  I don’t care if she is a personal trainer, exercise fanatic, she does not want this as a gift. Period.  She will buy it for herself if she thinks she needs it.

2) Self-help books

This says you need help on whatever level that may be.

3) Cleaning Equipment

This includes those new vacuum cleaners that do all the work themselves or anything that is an improvement to the junky stuff she uses now. This says you don’t do enough or it could be done better. Either way, why give this?

4) A Picture of Yourself

Unless you are her son or grandson giving a gift like this says you are arrogant or self-indulgent.

5) Clothes

Unless you know her exact size, I would avoid this.  Even if it is her size and it so happens to not fit she MAY feel insecure or upset. Plus women enjoy picking out their own clothes.

6) Makeup

Unless you work in the makeup department of a store and know all about foundation, texture, just don’t!

7) Cubic Zirconium

Unless you can afford diamonds, just get something else….really. Get a completely different stone, her birthstone, a sapphire, anything else… even no stone is better.

8 ) Electrical Appliances

Unless they were specifically requested…

9) Cooking utensils

Unless she is a chef or a big enthusiast

And Last but not LEAST:

10) A Gift Certificate to weight watchers

This includes gym memberships or any other weight loss program.


Honestly, when it comes to gifts I think we are the simpler creatures.  Some women still want the gadgets or the toys but usually they will tell you about them.  Jewelry is always a winner but mostly women just want time and appreciation.  Trips are good gifts, event tickets, a spa treatment, and sometimes high-end lotion (non-sexual).  If she is just a friend or acquaintance: a plant, a good wine (or liquor), a candle, a christmas card, event tickets, or something you specifically know will give her joy or a good laugh.

The link to the boyfriend pillow is:

Stuff White People Like

21 10 2009

List by the guy who wrote Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander. @  I put his commentary in on a few of my favorites about me or people I know :-p

  • *#128 Camping
  • *#127 Where the Wild Things Are
  • #126 Vespa Scooters
  • #125 Bob Marley
  • *#120 Taking a Year Off
  • *#118 Ugly Sweater Parties
  • *#115 Promising to Learn a New Language
  • *#114 America
  • *#113 Halloween
  • *#112 Hummus
  • *#111 Pea Coats
  • #110 Frisbee Sports
  • *#108 Appearing to Enjoy Classical Music
  • *#106 Facebook
  • *#103 Sweaters
  • #101 Being Offended
  • *#100 Bumper Stickers
  • *#99 Grammar
  • *#98 The Ivy League
  • *#97 Scarves
  • *#96 New Balance Shoes
  • *#93 Music Piracy
  • *#91 San Francisco
  • *#89 St. Patrick’s Day
  • #88 Having Gay Friends
  • *#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes
  • #84 T-Shirts
  • *#83 Bad Memories of High School
  • #82 Hating Corporations
  • *#81 Graduate School
  • #79 Modern Furniture
  • #76 Bottles of Water
  • #75 Threatening to Move to Canada
  • *#72 Study Abroad
  • *#71 Being the only white person around
  • #66 Divorce
  • #64 Recycling
  • #62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
  • #61 Bicycles
  • #60 Toyota Prius
  • #59 Natural Medicine
  • #58 Japan
  • *#51 Living by the Water
  • *#50 Irony
  • *#49 Vintage
  • *#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
  • #47 Arts Degrees
  • #46 The Sunday New York Times
  • #45 Asian Fusion Food
  • *#42 Sushi
  • *#41 Indie Music
  • *#40 Apple Products
  • #35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report
  • *#34 Architecture
  • #33 Marijuana
  • #32 Vegan/Vegetarianism
  • *#31 Snowboarding
  • #30 Wrigley Field
  • If one would like to meet a lot of white people, one of your best bets would be to go on a Snowboarding trip. Snowboarding is the practice of skiing sideways on one ski. White people love snowboarding as opposed to basketball or football because there is a sense that it is an alternative sport outside of the mainstream. Also too many ethnic people are skiing now. White people enjoy activities that cost a lot of money and require expensive clothes. Even though pro snowboarders make far less than football or basketball players, it is an activity that is exclusive to those who have money. Below are some of the prerequsites for snowboarding

  • *#28 Not having a TV
  • *#27 Marathons
  • *#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
  • *#24 Wine
  • *#23 Microbreweries
  • *#19 Traveling
  • White person travelling can be broken into two categories – First World and Third World.

    First world is Europe and Japan, and man, this travel is not only beloved but absolutely essential in their development as white people.

    Every white person takes at least one trip to Europe between the ages of 17-29. During this time they are likely to wear a back pack, stay at a hostel, meet someone from Ireland/Sweden/Italy with whom they have a memorable experience, get drunk, see some old churches and ride a train.

    What’s amazing is that all white people have pretty much the same experience, but all of them believe theirs to be the first of its kind. So much so that they return to North America with ideas of writing novels and screenplays about their experience.

    Upon returning home, they will also find an affinity for a particular beer or liquor from a country they visited. They use this as an excuse to mention their travels when at a bar. “Oh, I’ll have a Czechznlishiyush Pilsner. You see, that was my favorite beer when I was travelling through Slovenia and the Czech republic.”

    The second type of white person travel is Third World. This is when they venture to Thailand, Africa or South America. Some do it so that they can one up the white people who only go to Europe.

    But like with Europe, white people like to believe they are the first white people to make this trip. As such, they should be recognized as special and important individuals.

    That’s right, by going to a country, riding around on a bus or train, staying at a hotel or hostel and eating – they are doing something important for the world.

    If a white person shows up in your country, you can make them feel fantastic by saying how you’ve never seen a white person before, and that you are amazed by their iPod – “a device that plays many songs? impossible!”

    They might give it to you, then you can sell it for profit. Repeat as necessary.

  • *#17 Hating their Parents
  • #16 Gifted Children
  • #15 Yoga
  • *#14 Having Black Friends
  • #13 Tea
  • *#12 Non-Profit Organizations
  • It is a known fact that white people make up 95% of non-profit organizations.  They can’t get enough of them.

    They like working there for a number of reasons, the most important of which is that it gives them a sense of self importance.  This is important so that they can tell their friends and parents that they are “helping” society, and not just working to make money.

    But the sweet side of non profits is that you are paid a competitive salary for your field.  So you can be working at a non-profit and still make six figures, and you don’t have accountability or pressure.  Again, like most things with white people – you can’t lose!

  • #11 Asian Girls
  • #8 Barack Obama
  • *#7 Diversity
  • *#6 Organic Food
  • *#5 Farmer’s Markets
  • #2 Religions their parents don’t belong to
  • *#1 Coffee

  • Men vs. Woman: The Brain

    19 10 2009

    Hilarious 😀 So True!!!